At some point, everyone has wanted the approval of someone else. A sense of approval plays into every type of relationship and losing it can change a dynamic completely.
Entire relationships can be based on this approval. One is always working for the approval of the other and the power simply shifts between the two; a game of catch. Somehow happiness is achieved when approval has been attained.
I have certainly been in relationships with friends and boyfriends which have relied on this exhausting game. It is hard to recognise this pattern when you are in it - retaining insight is difficult.
However, approval is most satisfying when it comes from you. No longer requiring the approval of others feels deeply liberating. Emotional self-sufficiency is suddenly attainable.
Self-approval was my 2018 new year’s resolution. I can’t say I have yet had the overwhelming success that I hoped for, but the year is yet (sort of) young.
When I realise I am seeking the approval of someone else, I try to steer my brain away and I rely on the way I dress to help do this. On days like these, you need to feel completely relaxed in your own skin and a scruffy jumpsuit is usually the answer.
It isn't easy to get this approval from yourself instead of looking for it in others. But awareness of it, and aspiration towards it, is important.